Yep! That just about sums up our Nude Zealand road trip.
We left Queenstown with aplomb. Naked, hanging out the windows, waving goodbye to one of the greatest cities, via a drive-through for an order of small fries.
Zipping along Jen commented on how easy B's car was to speed in. At prescisly that moment a cop on the opposite side of the road turned on his lights, sped towards us, did a u turn and closed in. With both lights and siren now on he followed us for a full 2 or 3 minutes until we thought that perhaps it was us he was after. Clearly fed up after the most boring chase ever (also probably in the opposite direction to his pie and beer), bad cop was not in the mood for joviality when we finally pulled over. Sadly (or probably a good thing in this case), we were fully clothed at this point.
In the process of trying to issue us with a speeding ticket, it was discovered that Jen's licence had in fact expired. So not only were we speeding, but driving totally illegally. A good start to our 3 day road trip. And so began my stint at the wheel.....
Day two and a fresh start - the aim being not to cause more trouble. We did however, continue our nude campaign, stopping at beauty spots to take in the view and frolick about with some unfortunate props B had left in our care. Japanese tourists will go home with a slightly different version of New Zealand sights.
Zipping along within the speed limit this time, a shocking noise woke the girls from their sleep whilst I watched in horror as our kayaks exited the roof and hurtled towards the traffic behind us in the rear view mirror. Time slowed down as carnage unraveled in our wake. Pulling over, category A swear words were soon replaced with a call for clothes. In the melee, I managed to get myself dressed over the top of my seatbelt so was now fully attached to the car. Unlike our belongings.
In the mean time, the campervan behind us dragged one kayak beneath his front bumper for about 200m. He then ditched the boat and drove off, leaving attractive green plastic skid marks down the road. Dodging cars we scrambled our explosion of kit and found the culprit of this whole calamity in the verge - our roof rack.
Faced with two creek boats, paddles, a roof rack, all our paddling and camping gear we then had the option of leaving one person with the kit by the road whilst the others went to fix the racks or....... piling everything into the car including three girls and driving until we found help. So with two of us now crammed in a hole in the boot beneath two creek boats, paddling gear and camping paraphanelia we drove to the nearest handy man who kindly reattached our racks, so to speak.
Lesson learnt. Being nude in an emergency situation is not ideal.
